〈寫在媽媽離開以後〉

大生力軍媽媽回台灣了。家裡突然安靜下來，只剩奶瓶碰撞的聲音和寶寶偶爾的「啊啊」聲。我一個人料理家務與育兒，整個人進入備戰狀態。腦袋像開了二十個分頁，一邊哄睡、一邊想著下一餐要煮什麼。但在這混亂又充滿笑聲的日子裡，我仍想記下這一週的生活。

第一天朋友一家特地來看我，幫忙哄寶寶午睡。寶寶哭了一個小時才終於睡著，整間屋子像經歷過一場小型暴風雨。我看著他安靜地睡著，突然有種想哭的感覺——是累，也是一種被生活磨出的溫柔。

第二天寶寶安靜地坐在椅子上，我還心想怎麼這麼難得不「啊啊」叫。一抱起來才發現，原來是便便沾滿了褲子和椅墊。於是全家大清掃一遍——浴室、椅子、地板無一倖免。那天的成就感，就是把所有東西都洗乾淨，然後還能笑出來。

第三天前一晚全家都沒睡好。從那天起，我決定每天早晚各帶寶寶散步一次。早晨的空氣清涼，傍晚的夕陽柔和，這成了我們的日常節奏。推著嬰兒車的時候，我覺得自己像重新找到了一點自由，也讓寶寶多了許多笑容。

第四天終於成功快速用餵奶把寶寶哄睡。他睡在我身上兩個小時，我動也不敢動。等他醒來時，我的姿勢早已僵硬到極點，腰椎酸痛到必須貼貼布。那一刻我笑出來——原來愛一個小小的人，連疼痛都變得值得。

第五天寶寶開始學會耐心地在小椅子上端坐，在廚房門口等待媽媽忙完來帶他。那一幕安靜又溫柔，像一個小小的里程碑。我突然明白，原來我們都在一起學習——他學著等待，而我學著放慢。

媽媽離開的這一週，我經歷了疲倦、手忙腳亂，也體會了重新上手的力量。生活不再像從前那麼有條理，但也因此多了許多真實的笑聲與擁抱。有時夜深人靜，我仍會懷念那雙在廚房裡俐落翻炒的手，但我知道，她留給我的不只是幫忙，而是那份「妳可以的」的信念。

原來媽媽離開，不只是分離，更是另一種力量的開始。

After My Mom Left

My greatest reinforcement—Mom—has flown back to Taiwan.The house suddenly feels quieter, filled only with the clinking of bottles and my baby’s occasional coos.Now I’m on my own, managing both the household and childcare, living in a constant state of alert.My brain feels like it has twenty tabs open at once—feeding, cleaning, cooking, soothing.Yet in the middle of all this beautiful chaos, I still want to record this week of life.

Day 1A family friend came to visit and helped me put the baby down for a nap.He cried for almost an hour before finally falling asleep.When the house grew silent again, I felt tears welling up—part exhaustion, part tenderness that motherhood quietly carves out of you.

Day 2The baby sat quietly in his chair, and I wondered why he wasn’t babbling as usual.When I picked him up, I discovered the reason—poop everywhere.On his pants, the seat, and a good portion of the floor.We ended up doing a full house clean-up.That day’s victory was simple: everything got washed, and I still managed to laugh.

Day 3After a rough night with little sleep for anyone,I decided to start taking him on two walks a day—one in the morning and one at dusk.The morning air was crisp; the evening light, soft and golden.Pushing the stroller through our neighborhood, I felt like I’d regained a tiny piece of freedom—and in return, he gifted me more smiles.

Day 4For the first time, I managed to put him to sleep quickly with a bottle.He napped on my chest for two hours,and by the time he woke up, my body was stiff and my back aching so badly I had to put on a pain patch.Still, I smiled—because loving this little person makes even the aches feel worthwhile.

Day 5The baby has learned to sit patiently in his little chair,waiting by the kitchen doorway while I finish cooking.That quiet moment felt like a milestone—he’s learning to wait, and I’m learning to slow down.

This week, I’ve been tired, messy, and sometimes on the verge of tears—but I’ve also

rediscovered my own strength.Life isn’t as organized as it used to be,yet it’s full of laughter, small victories, and the warmth of tiny arms around my neck.

At night, I still miss the sound of my mom cooking in the kitchen,but I know she didn’t just leave her help behind—she left her faith in me.

Her leaving wasn’t an end,but the quiet beginning of my own strength.